7 Ways For The Introvert To Communicate Confidently Even If You Don’t Feel Confident

First impressions count. Like it or not, people will make some sort of judgement about you based on their first impression within the first few seconds of meeting you. You’ve heard it said that ‘you never get a second chance to make a first impression.’ So when you are meeting people for the first time, think of what first impression you want to give them.

Communicating confidently is essential if you are going to succeed no matter what you are doing. As introverts, we tend to be in our thoughts most of the time and are most concerned with what we are going to say. But realize that only 7% of our message is interpreted by others from the words that we use. It’s surprising, isn’t it? You may be surprised to learn the proportions. Here they are:

WORDS – 7%

TONE – 35%

BODY – 58%

It turns out that other people are paying the most attention to our body language. When we speak, people understand what we say by interpreting our appearance, posture, gesture, gaze, expressions and voice. This is why it is so important to move and act confidently and positively.

When you do, they will think that you are confident even if you’re not feeling it inside. Yes, that’s right. Even if you’re not feeling confident, act as if you are.

So, how do you do this?

Here are 7 ways to communicate confidently even if you don’t feel that way:

1. Choose a confidence role model. Who do you know that appears confident? Notice how you can tell what they are feeling by the way they move their body. When you become more aware, you can use this to your advantage.

2. Smile a lot more. One thing confident people have in common is that they smile a lot. There is a lot of power associated with a smile. You don’t have to walk around with a stupid grin on your face. Learn the art of smiling with your eyes.

3. Walk tall with your head and shoulders back at a fast pace. Walk walk like you know exactly where you are going and when you get there you mean business!

4. Keep on moving – Motion creates energy. When you sit still for a long period of time, your natural energy levels automatically lower. What happens when you get up, walk around and return to your seat? You have more energy and you’re given a boost.

5. Eye contact. When you talk to people look them straight in the eye. Realize that there is such a thing as too much eye contact. You’ll make them uncomfortable if you never look away. You just want to make sure they know you are paying attention.

6. Dress to win. Look at your appearance and ask yourself “Do I look confident?” What does your confidence role model wear that gives them an edge? You will be surprised at how better you will feel for it, and it will project a positive image to all others – one that will attract opportunities and people.

7. If you find yourself feeling down, take a look at your body language and change it immediately. YOU WILL start to feel better and more confident immediately.

The way that you move sends a subconscious message to your mind which helps the way that you feel. This is a form of self hypnosis that works from the outside in. Once you begin to tell yourself to act confidently, people will treat you as a confident person and you will become more confident…from head to toe.

How will you make time this week to implement these tips?

Thankful Volunteering for Clean Living

The holidays are quickly headed our way. The meal planning, gift buying, and holiday parties are already filling the calendar. While the cocktail parties, white elephant gift exchanges, and Christmas tree search helps keep the sanity during the holiday season why not consider throwing in some family volunteering into the mix? Often times we get so caught up that it’s easy to forget that there are so many ways that doing something fairly small in our eyes can make the biggest difference in someone else’s life. Since I know that you are busier than ever I thought I would do the legwork for you and help get you and your family started on the road to volunteering.

I would suggest that you decide what form of volunteering is most doable for your family; possibly a monthly event to the same place or more of a one-time thing to various locations. You will also want to decide what you think would be the most comfortable volunteer experience for your family especially if it’s the first time. If dogs frighten your 4 year old, you probably don’t want to clean kennels at the animal shelter.

I would suggest that you decide what form of volunteering is most doable for your family; possibly a monthly event to the same place or more of a one-time thing to various locations. You will also want to decide what you think would be the most comfortable volunteer experience for your family especially if it’s the first time. If dogs frighten your 4 year old, you probably don’t want to clean kennels at the animal shelter.

Once you’ve narrowed down the plan of action, talk to your family about it. Be sure to show the kids your enthusiasm for helping others. Trust me, if you’re giving your 4 year the chance to be a “big kid” by volunteering, they will be more than willing to lend a hand.

There are tons of things out there for y’all to do so let me just list a few below:

    Send a general or holiday themed card to a hospitalized child (http://www.cardsforhospitalizedkids.com/make-general-cards.html) (http://www.cardsforhospitalizedkids.com/make-holiday-cards2.html)

    Visit a nursing home. Many facilities will even pair you with one or two residents to visit on a regular basis.
    Donate to a local food pantry. Create flyers asking neighbors to leave non-perishable food items on their front porch or ask them to drop off at your porch by a certain date. Your kids can help pass out the flyers and of course go with you to donate.
    Look for a local walk/run that you can participate in.
    Head to a local animal shelter or your local Pet Smart. (Our local Pet Smart has volunteer groups that are always looking for help with the kitten kennels and of course to play with the animals.)
    Clean up litter. Walk the neighborhood, local park, or walking trail and have the family armed with trash bags and gloves.
    Serve at the local soup kitchen.
    Search the Hands on Network in your area. USE THIS LINK. I volunteered for years with Hands on Charlotte; they have various opportunities of all types.
    Make holiday cards for the residents at the local nursing home.
    Donate gently used DVD’s. Books, or CD’s to the local children’s hospital.
    Donate used towels, pet toys, and blankets to the local animal shelter.
    You can just Google “family volunteering” in your city or zip to find other opportunities.

We are all fortunate to be happy, healthy, and physically capable so why not give back and more importantly start your family out in the right direction for a lifetime of helping others.

The holidays are quickly headed our way. The meal planning, gift buying, and holiday parties are already filling the calendar. While the cocktail parties, white elephant gift exchanges, and Christmas tree search helps keep the sanity during the holiday season why not consider throwing in some family volunteering into the mix? Often times we get so caught up that it’s easy to forget that there are so many ways that doing something fairly small in our eyes can make the biggest difference in someone else’s life. Since I know that you are busier than ever I thought I would do the legwork for you and help get you and your family started on the road to volunteering.
I would suggest that you decide what form of volunteering is most doable for your family; possibly a monthly event to the same place or more of a one-time thing to various locations. You will also want to decide what you think would be the most comfortable volunteer experience for your family especially if it’s the first time. If dogs frighten your 4 year old, you probably don’t want to clean kennels at the animal shelter.
I would suggest that you decide what form of volunteering is most doable for your family; possibly a monthly event to the same place or more of a one-time thing to various locations. You will also want to decide what you think would be the most comfortable volunteer experience for your family especially if it’s the first time. If dogs frighten your 4 year old, you probably don’t want to clean kennels at the animal shelter.
Once you’ve narrowed down the plan of action, talk to your family about it. Be sure to show the kids your enthusiasm for helping others. Trust me, if you’re giving your 4 year the chance to be a “big kid” by volunteering, they will be more than willing to lend a hand.
There are tons of things out there for y’all to do so let me just list a few below:

1. Send a general or holiday themed card to a hospitalized child (http://www.cardsforhospitalizedkids.com/make-general-cards.html) (http://www.cardsforhospitalizedkids.com/make-holiday-cards2.html)
2. Visit a nursing home. Many facilities will even pair you with one or two residents to visit on a regular basis.
3. Donate to a local food pantry. Create flyers asking neighbors to leave non-perishable food items on their front porch or ask them to drop off at your porch by a certain date. Your kids can help pass out the flyers and of course go with you to donate.
4. Look for a local walk/run that you can participate in.
5. Head to a local animal shelter or your local Pet Smart. (Our local Pet Smart has volunteer groups that are always looking for help with the kitten kennels and of course to play with the animals.)
6. Clean up litter. Walk the neighborhood, local park, or walking trail and have the family armed with trash bags and gloves.
7. Serve at the local soup kitchen.
8. Search the Hands on Network in your area. USE THIS LINK. I volunteered for years with Hands on Charlotte; they have various opportunities of all types.
9. Make holiday cards for the residents at the local nursing home.
10. Donate gently used DVD’s. Books, or CD’s to the local children’s hospital.
11. Donate used towels, pet toys, and blankets to the local animal shelter.
12. You can just Google “family volunteering” in your city or zip to find other opportunities.

We are all fortunate to be happy, healthy, and physically capable so why not give back and more importantly start your family out in the right direction for a lifetime of helping others.
- See more at: http://www.cleaneats101.com/tag/clean-living/#sthash.8uLfIfDl.dpuf

Pumpkin Pass Under: Stand back to back with a few feet between your partner and you. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and raise your pumpkin over your head. Come down and pass the pumpkin through your legs to your partner. Pumpkin Squat: Stand with feet shoulder width apart. Raise pumpkin about your head and as you come down with the pumpkin drop into a squat. Be sure that your knees don’t go over your toes. Repeat.

Pumpkin Toss (wood chop): This is a wood chop move. Stand with feet shoulder width apart and swing from top right to bottom left while turning your leg inward and twisting your torso.

Pumpkin Plank: standard plank and try to hold for 30-60 seconds. Be sure to keep your body inline. Don’t allow your pelvis to drop.

Mountain Climbers: To add more intensity take that plank straight into mountain climbers.

Ideally you just want to get the kids moving. Your involvement will get your kids excited and they will want to be active and hopefully continue to live a healthy and active life!
- See more at: http://www.cleaneats101.com/family-friendly-fitness/#sthash.jvdr5tJI.dpuf

Pumpkin Pass Under: Stand back to back with a few feet between your partner and you. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and raise your pumpkin over your head. Come down and pass the pumpkin through your legs to your partner. Pumpkin Squat: Stand with feet shoulder width apart. Raise pumpkin about your head and as you come down with the pumpkin drop into a squat. Be sure that your knees don’t go over your toes. Repeat.

Pumpkin Toss (wood chop): This is a wood chop move. Stand with feet shoulder width apart and swing from top right to bottom left while turning your leg inward and twisting your torso.

Pumpkin Plank: standard plank and try to hold for 30-60 seconds. Be sure to keep your body inline. Don’t allow your pelvis to drop.

Mountain Climbers: To add more intensity take that plank straight into mountain climbers.

Ideally you just want to get the kids moving. Your involvement will get your kids excited and they will want to be active and hopefully continue to live a healthy and active life!
- See more at: http://www.cleaneats101.com/family-friendly-fitness/#sthash.jvdr5tJI.dpuf

Family Friendly Fitness

OCTOBER 23, 2015 | in Good Times, Program Tips

With all of the distractions in the world today it’s imperative that we start early and introduce our kids to the importance of a healthy lifestyle. While I struggle with getting my kids to eat anything green or try new foods I can get them to workout with me. Obviously they aren’t lifting barbells but they love to get out the tennis racquets and swing at balls, or challenge my husband or me to an impromptu 1 on 1 soccer game. So I thought it would be fun to get the kids involved in a fun outdoor and Halloween inspired workout.
Aim to do 15-20 reps and complete 3-5 rounds.
Pumpkin Pass : Similar to the Russian twist but pass a pumpkin to your partner.

Pumpkin Pass Under: Stand back to back with a few feet between your partner and you. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and raise your pumpkin over your head. Come down and pass the pumpkin through your legs to your partner. Pumpkin Squat: Stand with feet shoulder width apart. Raise pumpkin about your head and as you come down with the pumpkin drop into a squat. Be sure that your knees don’t go over your toes. Repeat.

Pumpkin Toss (wood chop): This is a wood chop move. Stand with feet shoulder width apart and swing from top right to bottom left while turning your leg inward and twisting your torso.

Pumpkin Plank: standard plank and try to hold for 30-60 seconds. Be sure to keep your body inline. Don’t allow your pelvis to drop.

Mountain Climbers: To add more intensity take that plank straight into mountain climbers.

Ideally you just want to get the kids moving. Your involvement will get your kids excited and they will want to be active and hopefully continue to live a healthy and active life!

- See more at: http://www.cleaneats101.com/family-friendly-fitness/#sthash.jvdr5tJI.dpuf

Family Friendly Fitness

OCTOBER 23, 2015 | in Good Times, Program Tips

With all of the distractions in the world today it’s imperative that we start early and introduce our kids to the importance of a healthy lifestyle. While I struggle with getting my kids to eat anything green or try new foods I can get them to workout with me. Obviously they aren’t lifting barbells but they love to get out the tennis racquets and swing at balls, or challenge my husband or me to an impromptu 1 on 1 soccer game. So I thought it would be fun to get the kids involved in a fun outdoor and Halloween inspired workout.
Aim to do 15-20 reps and complete 3-5 rounds.
Pumpkin Pass : Similar to the Russian twist but pass a pumpkin to your partner.

Pumpkin Pass Under: Stand back to back with a few feet between your partner and you. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and raise your pumpkin over your head. Come down and pass the pumpkin through your legs to your partner. Pumpkin Squat: Stand with feet shoulder width apart. Raise pumpkin about your head and as you come down with the pumpkin drop into a squat. Be sure that your knees don’t go over your toes. Repeat.

Pumpkin Toss (wood chop): This is a wood chop move. Stand with feet shoulder width apart and swing from top right to bottom left while turning your leg inward and twisting your torso.

Pumpkin Plank: standard plank and try to hold for 30-60 seconds. Be sure to keep your body inline. Don’t allow your pelvis to drop.

Mountain Climbers: To add more intensity take that plank straight into mountain climbers.

Ideally you just want to get the kids moving. Your involvement will get your kids excited and they will want to be active and hopefully continue to live a healthy and active life!

- See more at: http://www.cleaneats101.com/family-friendly-fitness/#sthash.jvdr5tJI.dpuf

How to Control Anger?

You’ve probably heard that anger is bad, that you should always be in control, and that emotion should never be shown.There seems to be a global conspiracy against anger: we should all ‘keep cool’, ‘stay in control’, and somehow ignore the bad driver who nearly caused a fatal crash or that terrible argument with your partner.
And that’s very wrong.
It all starts from misunderstanding the natural role of anger. Let’s make things a bit more clear…

Anger is Part of Us

Have you ever shown an angry picture of yourself to the population of a remote island? Probably not — it sounds like a very weird way to spend your holiday! Dr Paul Elkman spent most of his life researching basic human emotions all around the world.
It’s not surprising to discover that we all get angry. Research has proven that anger is one of the universally recognizable emotions. Anywhere in the world, if you show a photo of an angry person, everyone will recognize the emotion that is being displayed.
When you get angry, your facial expressions and body posture communicate that damage is being done and that you are prepared to do something about it.
Now, you might think that you could just say something like: “You are damaging me, stop it” Instead of getting all worked up. Unfortunately, verbal messages are processed by an evolutionarily younger part of the brain. Emotions convey your message in a way that words cannot.

Anger is Healthy

What happens if you decide not to feel angry and manage to restrain yourself? Unexpressed anger can lead to self harm. You could develop an ulcer or other physical illnesses. Psychological problems such as alienation might appear. Anger might also help assert yourself: expressing your own needs and making sure they are met.
What you say and do when angry might be unhealthy
A client of mine used to routinely have fights with bad drivers who made a mistake that could have caused an accident. He would get very angry, follow the car, stop it, and try to start a fight. His reasoning was: he’s wrong, I’m angry, I’ll hurt him. He later managed to change his ways, accepting that he had every right to be angry and no right to punch the object of his anger in the face!
Anger is no excuse to verbally and physically abuse others.

How to Control Anger

1. Now is the time to feel angry – Anger naturally evolved to help us deal with the present. If you find yourself constantly angry, your anger might be masking other emotions like fear and sadness. The next time you feel angry, try asking yourself: ‘Am I angry-afraid, angry-sad or angry-angry?’

2. Remember that you can feel and think at the same time – There is a popular myth that feeling and thought can’t go together. The reality is that no one shuts down your brain when you get angry: you still have the capacity to think, even if it might be harder than normal.

3. Choose – We have the capacity to choose how to express our feelings. In the workplace, expression of anger might need to be limited, while at home it’s important to find a constructive way to express your feelings.

4. Use Action/Feeling statements – A good way to communicate your anger is to say “When you do (action) I feel (feeling).” If the situation allows it, shouting an Action/Feeling statement is another interesting option! Remember that when speaking of an action it’s important to characterize it in strictly descriptive terms: only what the person did, not why you think he did it.

5. Express your anger, then go away – If channeling your anger in non abusive ways becomes too difficult, you still have the option to briefly express it in an acceptable way and then leave immediately.
For those with anger issues, the ability to control anger and emotions can be developed through an anger management program.

As a Counselor, Marco helps people living a happier life from the comfort of their own home. To read more great posts from Marco, check out Even Happier.